The Pain of Mental Illness

“NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE PAIN OF A PERSON, BECAUSE IN ALL HONESTY, EVERYONE IS STRUGGLING. SOME PEOPLE ARE BETTER AT HIDING IT THAN OTHERS.” — Gratefulness.net

Kate Spade’s recent death reiterates to the world that mental illness does not discriminate. It touches people in all socio-economic backgrounds, as well as all races and walks of life. So many people struggle each and every day and mask it behind successful jobs and facades. Depression, a major category of mental illness, can go unrecognized and therefore manifest itself in many different ways.

Unfortunately, during episodes of depression, individuals can’t see how they can ever be happy again or how treatment or proper medications can help them live fulfilling lives.

This topic is very close to my heart. My sister suffered from mental illness and took her life nine years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her and want to pick up the phone to tell her something, or ask her for a recipe. She was 39 years old, married to a wonderful man and the mother of two adorable children ages 10 and 13, an incredible friend and was absolutely beautiful. She was very successful at the many jobs she did and full of spunk and life until things went dark for her. She could no longer feel confident to do her job, take care of her children or even cook a meal. I admit this was all very hard for me to understand. Chemical imbalances can have a strong hold on people’s minds and make it very hard for them to function, and therefore they often turn to suicide.  We need to educate society about suicide so that the stigma can be lifted. Suicide is not a selfish act. I can’t imagine the amount of pain Jenifer must have been feeling. 

Society needs to know the signs of mental illness and make it okay to discuss them openly. The extreme pain that these people are experiencing needs to be understood and talked about. It needs to be understood that fighting mental illness is synonymous to fighting cancer. It may not be a physical pain, but it is just as great. We often do not recognize how hard the fight is for people suffering with mental illness. The fight is real.

Please talk to your kids, your family and your friends about the signs and treatments available to help those in need. Remember not to judge because it is hard to understand the invisible pain people are dealing with. And lastly, know that the choice to take one’s life comes from a very irrational, and sick place.  I know that my sister was totally irrational or she would never have left us.

Several of the recipes that she shared with me are among my family’s favorites and I’ve shared them below. I hope that you enjoy them as much as we do!

FETA DIP

• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 4 roma tomatoes chopped
• 4 scallions chopped
• 1 4 oz container crumbles feta cheese
• 2 tbsp Cavenders all purpose Greek seasoning
• Pita chips or crackers

1. Pour the oil all over dinner size plate. Layer tomatoes, scallions and crumbled feta on top of oil. Top with the Cavendars. Serve  with pita chips or crackers.

POPPY SEED CAKES

• 3 cups flour
• 2 ½ cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 ½ cups vegetable or canola oil
• 1 ½ cups milk
• 1 ½ tsp poppy seeds
• 1 ½ tsp salt
• 1 ½ tsp baking powder
• 1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
• 1 ½ tsp butter extract
• 1 ½ tsp almond extract

TOPPING

• ¾ cup sugar
• ¼ cup OJ
• ½ tsp vanilla extract
• ½ tsp butter extract
• ½ tsp almond extract

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Mix all ingredients in a bowl with a hand mixer on medium.  Spray 8 mini loaf pans or 2 regular loaf pans . Bake for 1 hour. While hot , poke 4-5 holes on the top of each and drizzle topping. Let cook completely. My sister made these for all of her clients for holiday gifts and I too make them for holiday gifts. They are loved by all!

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